My time in Haiti is drawing to a close. I will leave this officially leave this mission on February 1, 2012. With that decision comes a range of emotions. Feelings of failure, guilt, jubilation, depression, and on and on.
When I came here in August of 2011, I did so with the intent of staying two years. I made it 6 months. After completing a mission in Iraq from June 2006 until July 2007 I though to myself "Haiti cannot be worse than Iraq". Well, I was wrong.
On September 17, 2006 my friend Darrell Weatherbee was shot and killed by a sniper near Hawijah, Iraq. I survived two roadside bombs in Iraq. The first incident Occurred on September 20, 2006. The next one occurred on October 21, 2006. On October 21, 2006 my friend Brian M. Brian was killed by an IED. On November 26, 2007 my friend Bill Juneau was killed by an IED 50 miles southeast of Baghdad. To this day I find myself questioning why I lived and they died. Why was Ron injured yet I walked out of that war torn country unscathed? I could have easily been killed had those bombs exploded a second or two later. It is only by the grace of God that I am alive today. In December of 2006, my partner Ron Little was seriously injured by a roadside bomb. I was in Florida on R&R at the time. Thankfully, Ron has recovered from his injuries for the most part. During My time in Iraq I saw a lot of really bad things. This was at the height of The Surge. I saw things that nobody should have to see.
I told you this story, not to attempt to impress you. I do have a point. My mission here in Haiti should have been a "walk in the park". But it is also a fact that in an environment such as Iraq you become addicted to the adrenalin. Perhaps that is the reason why I "enjoyed" my mission in Iraq more. Sadly, thousands of Americans did not come home from Iraq alive. So I feel bad using the term "enjoyed".
If I'm being honest, I knew within days that I had made a mistake by accepting this mission in Haiti. I am not of course taking into account the ways God ended up using me here.
Early on in the mission, during Induction Training, an instructor came into the classroom carrying boxes of condoms. Most of us thought we would be passing out the condoms to the locals. I was wrong. These condoms were for us. Wow! I knew at that very moment that this mission was going to be different. We are Americans yet we had to take an English test. There are few if any traffic laws here in Haiti. There is very little if any enforcement; yet we had to take a driver's test. Wow! What have I gotten myself into?
I have often described this mission as the worst experience of my professional life and one of the best experiences of my personal life. I don't have very many good things to say about the law enforcement part of this mission. Frankly, it is a joke and an embarrassment. It is a phenomenal waste of money. The United States funds 27% of the United Nations budget. I can only assume that we fund the majority of the police mission here. Most Americans would be appalled if they knew how their tax dollars were being spent here in Haiti. You should be outraged.
The majority of those running the day to day mission here in Haiti are simply not capable of doing so. Most of them possess little if any planning, organization or analytic skills. Many of them come from countries which have previously had or currently have ongoing U.N. missions. Many of them come from unstable countries, that's the bottom line. So, how exactly can they help stabilize Haiti? This mission is about nothing more than re-distributing the world's wealth to other countries. The problem is that I thought we were here to help the Haitian people? Again, I was wrong. There are so many things wrong with this mission that I don't even know where to begin or where to end. It is an undeniable failure. You cannot be a police advisor just because you speak French. Is that the only qualification for these other countries? Most of us know that the United Nations is an impotent entity. This mission was doomed from Day one under the leadership of the U.N. as long as they continue down this same path, we might as well just run our dollars through a paper shredder. There is simply no focus here. Professionally, there is no sense of purpose. To be absolutely unpolitically correct; if the United States were running this mission instead of the U.N. Haiti would be a different country today.
On a lighter note, this has been a "unique" mission. God has blessed me here. Because of this mission I was able to meet Michee Legrende and his brother. I was able to meet Ken Ken, Sebastian, Lamil and Kingston. I met geg & Michelle Roberts and the gang from Chasdasha, what a Godsend they were. I was able to make a difference, however small. I met some really good people, some are my American colleagues, others are from around the world.
In the end, I made the decision to call it quits. I simply cannot stay here, complain about the mission and draw a paycheck. That's not who I am. While I am currently earning substantially more here than I will be in the states, it's not about the money. While I miss my family terribly, that alone is not the reason I am leaving this mission. I will leave a part of my heart here. I know that I will spend a lot of time second guessing myself. Did I do enough? Could I have done more? But, it's time to go home. I will leave here on February 1, 2012. I will return to the same job I had before I came here.
Until next time, take care, stay safe and God Bless.
