I find myself sitting here in my room wandering why things happen the way they do. I know in my heart of hearts that everything happens for a reason. As human beings, and as Christians, we are simply not capable of understanding God's Will. It is only human though to wander why. Ken Ken came into this world on December 12, 2010. I can't see him living until his first birthday. He came into this world innocent. Given his condition and the conditions surrounding him, he stood very little chance. But God put Ken Ken on this earth for a reason. Maybe that reason was for Ken Ken to touch my life. How ironic would that be? Because of Ken Ken I met Michelle and Greg Roberts. Ken Ken sat off a chain reaction that will be felt in Haiti for a long time to come.
Ken Ken is one of the most precious children I have ever seen. I never once saw him cry. Maybe he was just too weak to cry. If only he knew how many lives he has touched in his very short lifetime. I know that God has a very special place prepared for Ken Ken in Heaven. I cringe when I think that I want him to die so he will suffer no more. His body will be perfect when God cradles him in his arms.
I am experiencing a broad range of emotions right now. I think back to when my children were young. I think back to the joy of their birth. How proud I was, how beautiful they were. I think back to my oldest son Brandon, who was a pistol yet such a joy. How he decided at the age of 2 or 3 to become a firefighter, and how he fulfilled that dream. He is now serving in Afghanistan where he is a Firefighter/EMT. I think about my youngest son Brett. He was a child of very few words yet his eyes spoke volumes. I think about my daughter Kayla. How excited my wife was when she found out she was having a little girl, the answer to every parent's prayers. And I think about my other "daughter", Tiffany. She came into our lives while I was in Iraq. She is a great girl. I think about my Mom, who passed away on December 26, 2000. I think about how much he loved my kids and how she would have given her own life to save theirs. I also find myself thinking about my failures as a father, a husband, a brother, a friend. I have always loved my children but I have also failed them more times than I can count. Yet, their love is unconditional, such is the love of God. I thank Him that my children were blessed with a wonderful mother. So many children here in Haiti are without a mother or a father, or both. I hope and pray that God provides someone to fill that role.
It's never to late. If you are estranged from your parents or your children, swallow your pride. Do what's right. The love of your family is irreplaceable, yet is profound, it is powerful. The love of God can fix whatever is wrong in your life, if only you will accept him. He knows that we are not perfect. Heck, I've proven that over and over. Yet, he has never forsaken me, even when I pushed him to the side.
Ken Ken, you are an angel. I love you more than you will ever know. And, if I do what's right, I'll see you again soon, if not on this side of Heaven. I love you buddy. To my family, I love you more than life itself. To Greg, Michelle, your family and Chelsey thank you for being Ken Ken's guardian angels. And thanks for making me a small part of your lives here in Haiti. God will reward you for the things you have done.
Why am I a police officer in the poorest country in the Western Hemisphere? I'm not sure I know the full answer to that question. As I sit here tonight, I find myself longing to be home with my family. To be in my house, or riding my motorcycle. To see my Dad, my sisters, my brother-in-law Kevin. To sit on my porch and look across the road at the lake. To feel cold air blowing on my face. To see my best friend Rick, or the Reagan family or my other friends. While all of those desires are legitimate, they are also very selfish. God has plan. Maybe that plan involves me going home sooner than later. Maybe his plan involves me being here another 21 months. Only he knows. Where there is a way, he will provide that way. It's not up to me to question his Will, though I find myself doing just that on a regular basis.
Give your kids a hug and a kiss tonight. If not in person, then in your thoughts. Until next time, take care, stay safe and God Bless.
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