Ken Ken Merzy

Well here I am.  I said that I was discontinue my blogging career.  But, I feel as though I have no choice to write, what is perhaps, the last blog.  I'm doing this in hopes that you will share this with your friends, who do not have FaceBook pages, or Twitter accounts; those who simply do things the "old fashioned way", by email.

I have often talked about Ken Ken Merzy.  He is the little boy I came across while I was assigned to an Internally Displaced Persons (IDP) Camp in Port-Au-Prince in September of this year.

To summarize, when I first spotted Ken Ken, I thought that he was a newborn baby.  Little did I know that he was a 5 pound, 10 month old little boy.  I was firmly convinced that he would not be alive in a few days unless I took action.

Anyway, most of you are familiar with the rest of the story.  I called someone, who called someone, and we got Ken Ken some help.  What I wanted to share with you today is the fact that Ken Ken is not only still alive, but he seems to be thriving.  You can believe what you want but I attribute this to the power of God, nothing more and nothing less.  You see, Ken Ken has AIDS, Tuberculosis and suffers from  Malnutrition.  He lives in what most of would describe as abhorrent conditions at best.  Before I met him, and with help from a lot of people since then, and of course the grace of God, we have improved his life.  To prove my point, I want to attach a before and after photo of Ken Ken:

Ken Ken when I found him in 09/2011

Ken Ken on his 1st Birthday on 12/10/2011

As you can see, Ken Ken has came a long way.  I honestly thought I would never see him alive again.  Instead, he is thriving and celebrated his 1st Birthday just a couple of days ago.  If you attend church, or know someone who does, please share this blog with them.  I am firmly convinced that God has touched this little boy.  Is he healed?  I can't answer that question.  But I can assure you of this one thing; based on what I saw that day in September, he shouldn't even be alive.  Please add him to your prayer list.  Thanks so much.  Until next time, take care, stay safe and God Bless.  

"No good deed ever goes unpunished"

Well, since my last posting I've experienced a couple of minor setbacks in the "humanitarian side" of my mission here in Haiti.

I'm sure that most of you remember Robinson, the man whom, with the help of many others, I was able to secure a wheelchair for.  I've seen a lot of really bad things during my 25 year law enforcement career.  And I've seen a lot of really destitute people, none of whom were more destitute than Robinson.  I'll cut to the chase; about 10 days after getting Robinson his wheelchair, and watching him use it daily during those 10 days, we suddenly saw him without the wheelchair, back to scooting along the highway on his rear end.  I remember immediately feeling rage, assuming that someone had stolen his wheelchair from him.

At this point, we pulled over to the side of the road.  I called out Robinson's name but noticed that he would not stop and would not make eye contact with me.  Having been a Detective for many, many years this made me immediately suspicious, for a couple of reasons.  As thoughts are running through my mind, I was thinking to myself, "okay, you stopped to confront him in front of a bunch of people sitting on the side of the road."  A crime victim in America would also be hesitant to talk to the police in front of a group of bystanders.  I also noticed that he had money in his shirt pocket.  So, my next thought was "okay, if they stole his wheelchair, why did they not steal his money?"   Next was, "okay, maybe he came up with the money after his wheelchair was stolen."  I admit, I had no idea what happened.  All I knew at that time was that this guy no longer had a wheelchair that he had desperately needed and seemed to enjoy having.

I made several more attempts to talk to Robinson. He actually crawled onto the gravel portion of the road to crawl around our vehicle, all the while ignoring my repeated attempts to talk with him with the help of a Haitian National Police officer (HNP),  The officer was not in uniform.  Had he been, I would have chalked up Robinson's reaction to that fact alone, since most Haitians are fearful or at the very least intimidated by HNP.  In the end, there was nothing more I could do.  We left and returned to Port-Au-Prince (PAP).

So, I have a pretty big heart, too big at times I'm guessing.  As you can well imagine, this has bothered me since this day.  I have experienced a broad range of emotions, from anger to empathy to sympathy.  I decided that I would just wait a while and attempt to make contact with Robinson again.  I'm confident that God will arrange for that meeting when he sees fit.  It's tough though to see him, on an almost daily basis, crawling along the highway, wearing the same clothes he was wearing the first time I saw him, nearly 45 days ago.

So the next thing I've been dealing with are the kids.  There are three kids I have "adopted" since I changed jobs in September from an IDP Camp to a Commissariat, or police station.  My partner and I have chosen to help them out on several occasions, buying them food, clothing, whatever we feel the need is at that particular moment.  These three children, two boys and one girl, are all around the age of 11.  The two boys, Lamil and Kingston are brothers.  They have no mother, other siblings and a father. Lamil is a "little person."  Nancy is one of five children with no father.  I've yet to meet her siblings.  Lamil and Kingston were initially adopted by my partner, a really good guy from Mississippi, a true Southerner.  He would have you believe that he is a tough guy, which he is.  He also has a big heart, probably bigger than he would like to admit.

Anyway, when you help a child here in Haiti, on your own, you run the risk of that child, or children, coming to you on a daily basis.  This is exactly what has happened, much to our dismay  Don't get me wrong; I truly enjoy helping these children.  But, they are children living in a Fourth World Country.  They have been raised by and around people who receive handouts on a regular basis, some deserved, some not.  We have tried to explain the kids that they cannot come to the police station on a daily basis expecting to be given food or money.  Either they don't understand that concept or they choose to ignore.  There is a valid argument either way.

Recently one of my counterparts, a Canadian, bought Nancy some cookies and a drink after she came to the station looking for me.  While she ate the cookies, she simply poured out the drink.  Needless to say, the Canadian wasn't very happy about it.  He confronted her and she told him that she did not like that particular drink.  This too angered me.

A day or so later, Nancy showed up again and I was there.  She asked for some money.  Hmm, not a good sign.  I usually choose to help people who don't ask for anything rather than those who simply beg, out of necessity or out of habit.  I had a $50 Gourdes bill in my pocket.  This isn't much in American dollars, just over $1.  But, it was all I had on me at the time.  At the same time, my partner handed Lamil and Kingston each some money, admittedly more than I had given Nancy. I immediately noticed that Nancy was very jealous and she began questioning Lamil and Kingston about how much money they had received, even trying to reach into Lamil's pocket.  As I've said, I have a big heart but occasionally I also have a short fuse.  Nancy laid the money I had given her down on the bench and basically refused to take it, indicating that she wanted more.  Not a good idea on her part.  I know that she is a child, I took that into account.  But, that is no excuse.  I picked up the bill and put it back in pocket and told her nicely to leave.  She did not like this at all.  She immediately began crying, yet shedding no tears.  It didn't take me long to grow tired of this little act either.  I asked the HNP to tell her nicely to leave, which they did.  She left the compound but then stood just outside the compound, wailing away, still shedding not a single tear.  I then began to wander if she was well adept at this little act?  Who knows.  What I know is that she picked the wrong actions on the wrong day.  Her wailing led several bystanders to stop and I guess ask her what was wrong.  I'm not sure what she told them, but we received some not no nice glares from several of the locals.  So be it.  When I left that day she was still begging us for money, which she did not receive.

The next day, we stopped by the station again.  Within 15 minutes here comes Nancy, running up giving my partner and I a kiss on the cheek, all smiles.  I'm thinking to myself "okay, she knows she screwed up."   Forgive and forget.  No, she started asking for money again.  Again, I told her no.  Again, she starts wailing.   Again, not a single tear shed.  I forgot to mention one thing.  Several days before this happened I had taken her shopping and bought food for her entire family and bought her a new pair of shoes, some socks and a backpack for school.  I thought it important to point out that little fact.  As we were leaving that evening we were going to give an HNP officer a ride to PAP.  I look over and there's Nancy, standing outside my window.  I asked the HNP officer to politely tell her to leave.  He rolls down his window, says something to her in Creole and then reaches into his pocket, pulls out some money and hands it to her.  I'm sitting there aghast!  I'm like "no, that's not what we want to to do!"  The HNP officer had the right intentions but misunderstood exactly what we wanted him to do.  I can't win for losing.

I have basically decided not to give Nancy any more money.  I may be wrong but I am convinced that she is taking advantage.  It will not be easy but that's the way it is.  My partner and I have instead decided to concentrate on Lamil and Kingston.  They both smile whether they receive anything or not.  We'll see what happens with that.

Well, I work one more day and then I'm off work for a week.  Won't do much, hang by the pool some and be bored stiff.  After that, I'll work 21 days and then head home for Christmas.  I can hardly wait.  Until next time, take care, stay safe and God Bless.

Good Days and Bad Days

The title of today's blog is very accurate.  Until today, I really hadn't had a bad day for about a month.  Well, today was one of those bad days.  I wish I could blame it on someone or something, but I'm responsible.  Let me explain.

Haiti is a very frustrating place.  Nothing here is ever easy.  Sometimes, the most basic things prove difficult.

As most of you are aware, I have been providing just a little bit of relief for some of the Haitian people, mostly kids.  This is not my primary job.  I was hired by a U.S. government contractor to come here and provide law enforcement expertise to the Haitian National Police, commonly referred to as the HNP or PNH, in French.  Needless to say, that has been more than disappointing.  Like the police in Iraq, very few HNP are interested in what we have to say.  And, I guess I can't blame them.  What police officer would want to be forced to accept guidance from a foreign police officer?  I know that I wouldn't.   At the same time, the police here are rife with corruption.  Anyway, that's another story for another day.

This week I have experienced a range of emotions.  From elation to all out depression.  Via my Facebook Page, I shared with many of you the story of Robinson, the handicapped man we recently provided a wheelchair to.  That definitely warmed my heart.  We have seen him every day since giving him the chair and he seems to be doing well.

My next challenge has been trying provide for some of he children in the area where I work.  Specifically, Nancy, Lamil and Kingston.  All three are about 10 years old.  Lamil and Kingston are brothers, Lamil is a "little person."  For about the past two weeks I have been feeding them and trying to provide food for their families.  I do the same with Nancy.  Lamil and Kingston have no mother, she passed away from Cholera.  Nancy has no father, he was killed in the earthquake. All three seem to crave a parent's attention but I believe that they are also hungry.

I find myself wandering if they are hungry because they are typical kids or if they are hungry because they have had nothing to eat.  It just breaks my heart.  And on top of this I have all of the other people who ask for things, from 7 years old to 70 years old.

Lamil, Kingston and Nancy have made a habit of coming to the police station on a daily basis.  We had to put a stop to this.  After all, it is a police station.  This made me feel guilty.  But, when you add up what I spend on them on a daily basis, it adds up quickly.  Unfortunately, I do not have unlimited funds and often find myself running short of funds at the end of the month.  But then, I think about the fact that my oldest son is buying me an IPad 2 for Christmas.  How can I get something like that and not take care of these kids.  I have come to realize that I cannot help everyone here.  If I could though, I would.

Nancy was the first one to come to me today.  I was sitting in the car cooling down, something else I feel guilty about.  She smiled and knocked on my window.  She then rubbed her stomach and said "grangou" or "I'm hungry" in Creole.  Needless to say, I couldn't resist.  Well, as I came out of the store, here came Lamil and Kingston.  Back to square one.  I took them into the market and bought them some food and drinks to take home.  I had the store owner, a really nice guy who speaks English, explain to then that I cannot continue to buy them food on a daily basis.  They dropped their heads and walked away.  The guilt I felt suddenly consumed me.  I forgot to mention.  I paid for Nancy to get a ride home on a motorcycle taxi.  The driver took her about 100 yards down the road, and basically kicked her to the curb.  What arrogance.  I'm afraid of what I will do if I find him again.  So, I had to pay another driver to take her home.  She lives about 5 miles from where I work.  So, based on all of this, my whole day was ruined.

I went from being in a really good mood, to being in a really dark mood, almost to the point where it scared me.  I immediately shut down and basically didn't speak to anyone the rest of the afternoon.

As we were headed back to PAP we again spotted Robinson, still going along in his wheelchair.  This lifted my mood somewhat.

When I got back to the lodge, I was extremely depressed.  As bad as I have been since arriving in Haiti.  I wasn't sure that I could go on much longer, as pathetic as that sounds.  But, I have to provide for my family.  If it were up to me, I would have went home today.  But, that's the coward's way out.

I finally decided to  go out by the pool and update my blog.  Before doing that, I called Michelle Roberts to check on Ken Ken.  To my surprise, she told me that he was sitting up in bed, by himself and was smiling at her.  What a boost that was.  She will post some to pics of him on my FB page later tonight.

The bottom line is this; when will I accept the fact that God will never give me more than I can handle?  Why do I, at times, lack the most basic faith?  To take an exerpt form a book I was reading today, am I a follower of Christ or am I a fan of Christ?  That is a very good question and sometimes I feel as though I can't answer that question.  

I sincerely ask for your prayers.  I will need them to get through the next 1-2 years.  I may be home in a month or I may be home for good in 21 months.  The job marked may determine the answer to that question.  I have asked to return to my previous job but only God can make that happen.  

Please continue to pray for Ken Ken, Nancy, Lamil, Kingston and the rest of the Haitian people.  It is very easy to become judgmental towards the adults who often try their best to take advantage of you.  Until next time, take care, stay safe and God Bless.

Mark

You Think You're Having a Bad Day?

God continues to amaze me as I continue my mission here in Haiti.  I am fast approaching my 3 month mark.  While in many ways it seems like a lifetime, I find myself continually amazed by God's presence and the perseverance of the Haitian people.

Like any country, Haiti has good people and bad people; much like America and every other country on earth.  At various times in your life you meet someone who simply brings you back to reality, if only for a short time.  As human beings, most of us are prideful, spoiled, and selfish at times.  This is especially true of Americans because we are accustomed to a particular lifestyle.  Don't misunderstand me.  Unlike some of our politicians, I do not believe that we are an arrogant people though I believe all of us are arrogant at times.

I myself am definitely spoiled.  I have never been wealthy and most likely never will be.  But I have still enjoyed a level of comfort that many people around the world will never experience.  I have never truly been hungry, when I couldn't find something to eat, either in the refrigerator or in town.  I have never truly been poor.  I may not have everything I desire but I have a decent home, furniture, satellite television, internet, vehicles, and a motorcycle.  Maybe I don't live in a 5 bedroom mansion.  Maybe I don't have brand new furniture.  Maybe I don't have a brand new car or a $30,000 Harley Davidson.  Nonetheless, I should be down on my knees each and every day thanking God for what I do have.

I spent 12 months in Iraq between June 2006 and July 2007.  This of course was during the height of the sectarian violence and in one of the most dangerous cities on earth, Baghdad.  I witnessed death on so many fronts.  I saw firsthand, the suffering caused by war and poverty.  I saw many people killed because of their beliefs, perhaps something as simple as being a Sunni instead of a Shiite.  Or maybe they were a victim of collateral damage caused by our own artillery.  Regardless, that alone should have humbled me.  But, if I am being honest, it only humbled me for a while.

Not long after returning home from Iraq, I allowed myself to forget about the things I saw there.  I tucked those memories into a vault deep in my mind, hoping to never recall them again.  And sadly, I was successful, until August of 2011 when I accepted a position as an International Police Officer in Haiti, the poorest country in the Western Hemisphere.

Haiti is not a war zone, though it often resembles one.  It is a violent country, but nothing like Iraq, or Afghanistan, or Darfur or any number of other African countries rife with civil war, war lords fighting over the spoils.  Haiti is simply a country without a leader.  They have been "raped" by their leaders for the last hundred years.  The people have suffered greatly.

When I first arrived here in August I was excited.  I was excited about a new adventure in a foreign land.  It didn't take long for that excitement to change to despair, dread and even depression.  The mission was not at all what I expected.  Did I expect too much?  Maybe so.  What I saw was a country rife with poverty, filth, a lack of basic necessities.  A country with a 75% unemployment rate.  A country with very little social services.  A country with a life expectancy of 50 years and an infant mortality rate out of this world.  A country rife with HIV and AIDS, Syphilis, Cholera, Typhoid and every other disease known to mankind. A country only 710 miles from United States soil.  How then can this country be in such bad shape?  I have no good answer for that.

I often find myself not being thankful for what I have, but sinking in self pity.  Feeling sorry for myself because I gave up a good job to come here.  Feeling sorry myself because I miss my family.  Feeling sorry for myself because I can't ride my motorcycle, or run to McDonald's.  Feeling sorry for myself because of what it is costing me to live here.  It is disgusting, disgusting that I would, even for a moment, feel sorry for myself, knowing what I know about the Haitian people.

For any of you who follow me on Facebook, or have read my previous blogs, you know about Ken Ken, Sebastian, Crystal and many of the other kids I have met during this journey.  Each one of those kids has broken my heart time and time again.  None more than Ken Ken.  He is a 10 month old little boy who is suffering from AIDS, Tuberculosis, and malnutrition.  I think about him several times, each day, seven days per week.  And then I think of my own children, all of whom are healthy and I hope happy.  I know that this is only by the grace of God.  And I realize, at least most of the time, that something bad can happen at any given time.

I have shared with you many stories and photos about and of Ken Ken.  I feel guilty about this because the Bible tells us, and I'm paraphrasing, not to broadcast our efforts, to do things for people in a way that no one even realizes we've done something.  Do I share those stories and photos for self-gratification?  I certainly hope not.  I feel that it is important for people to see what I see, to experience things through my eyes and my feelings.  If I have erred, I pray for God's forgiveness.

I try to do something each and everyday that glorifies the name of God.  Maybe it's buying food for a hungry child.  Maybe it's spending time with Michee, a 20 year-old boy I met at my camp.  Maybe it's simply saying a prayer for my friends, or my co-workers.  Whatever the case may be, I know it's not enough.  My actions pale in comparison to the sacrifices of Michelle Roberts, her husband Greg, Chris Keylon and the staff from Chadasha Foundation,, www.chadasha.org.  It pales in comparison to Julie Columbino, Sandra Fernandez and the gang from Rebuild Globally www.RebuildGlobally.org.   It pales in comparison to the sacrifices of the staff at The Apparent Project, www.apparentproject.org.  Each of these people has given up their comfortable lives in the States to serve God and the people of Haiti.  

I have been praying recently for God to lead me back to a man I first saw about four weeks ago.  One day, on our way to work, I saw a man on the side of the road.  He appeared to be paralyzed, or at the very least suffering from some type of debilitating disease.  He was scooting along on his bottom side only using his hands.  He was filthy.  I remember immediately feeling a sense of dread and heartbreak.  I vowed from that moment that I would do something to help him.

I spent the next three weeks looking for this guy.  I spotted him on one occasion about a week later but had no translator.  I finally spotted him today as we were headed back to Port-Au-Prince.  I immediately pulled over to the side of the road, as did the rest of my team.  We all got out of our vehicles.  Two of my colleagues provided traffic control while the rest of us approached the man, who I found out was Robinson.  Within just a few minutes, we were all pulling money from our pockets and giving it to Robinson.  We were also able to determine that he was willing to accept a wheelchair.  I have to admit that I was elated that God had answered my prayers.  And, I was proud of my colleagues, not only for their help but also for their compassion.  This sort of thing doesn't happen every day in this mission.

After leaving Robinson, I immediately called my reliable friend Michelle Roberts.  Michelle agreed to provide me with a wheelchair, free of charge.  And she will bring it to me in the next couple of days.  We now know where Robinson lives and we will deliver the wheelchair to him, and train him in the proper operation.  We are also going to buy a reflective triangle to place on the back of the wheelchair as well as some other type of reflective material.  The road he travels on is extremely dangerous, as are most roads here in Haiti.  While I have grown to love most of the Haitian people, their driving skills are suspect at best.

Well, until next time I hope that God blesses each and every one of you.  Take care, stay safe and God Bless.

Robinson November 7, 2011

  

www.apparentproject.org

Thinking of Ken Ken - October 31, 2011

Michelle Roberts just posted a blog entitled "Baby Ken Ken's Final Days with Us", http://interchangeability.wordpress.com/2011/10/30/tiny-baby-kenkens-final-days-with-us/.  As much as I hate to think about it, Ken Ken is not long for this world, most likely, a couple of days at most.  How could such a tiny little boy have such a huge impact on my life?

I find myself sitting here in my room wandering why things happen the way they do.  I know in my heart of hearts that everything happens for a reason.  As human beings, and as Christians, we are simply not capable of understanding God's Will.  It is only human though to wander why.  Ken Ken came into this world on December 12, 2010.  I can't see him living until his first birthday.  He came into this world innocent.  Given his condition and the conditions surrounding him, he stood very little chance.  But God put Ken Ken on this earth for a reason.  Maybe that reason was for Ken Ken to touch my life.  How ironic would that be?  Because of Ken Ken I met Michelle and Greg Roberts.  Ken Ken sat off a chain reaction that will be felt in Haiti for a long time to come.

Ken Ken is one of the most precious children I have ever seen.  I never once saw him cry.  Maybe he was just too weak to cry.  If only he knew how many lives he has touched in his very short lifetime.  I know that God has a very special place prepared for Ken Ken in Heaven.  I cringe when I think that I want him to die so he will suffer no more.  His body will be perfect when God cradles him in his arms.

I am experiencing a broad range of emotions right now.  I think back to when my children were young.  I think back to the joy of their birth.  How proud I was, how beautiful they were.  I think back to my oldest son Brandon, who was a pistol yet such a joy.  How he decided at the age of 2 or 3 to become a firefighter, and how he fulfilled that dream.  He is now serving in Afghanistan where he is a Firefighter/EMT.  I think about my youngest son Brett.  He was a child of very few words yet his eyes spoke volumes.  I think about my daughter Kayla.  How excited my wife was when she found out she was having a little girl, the answer to every parent's prayers.  And I think about my other "daughter", Tiffany.  She came into our lives while I was in Iraq.  She is a great girl.  I think about my Mom, who passed away on December 26, 2000.  I think about how much he loved my kids and how she would have given her own life to save theirs.  I also find myself thinking about my failures as a father, a husband, a brother, a friend.  I have always loved my children but I have also failed them more times than I can count.  Yet, their love is unconditional, such is the love of God.  I thank Him that my children were blessed with a wonderful mother.  So many children here in Haiti are without a mother or a father, or both.  I hope and pray that God provides someone to fill that role.

It's never to late.  If you are estranged from your parents or your children, swallow your pride.  Do what's right.  The love of your family is irreplaceable, yet is profound, it is powerful.  The love of God can fix whatever is wrong in your life, if only you will accept him.  He knows that we are not perfect.  Heck, I've proven that over and over.  Yet, he has never forsaken me, even when I pushed him to the side.

Ken Ken, you are an angel.  I love you more than you will ever know.  And, if I do what's right, I'll see you again soon, if not on this side of Heaven.  I love you buddy.  To my family, I love you more than life itself.  To Greg, Michelle,  your family and Chelsey  thank you for being Ken Ken's guardian angels.  And thanks for making me a small part of your lives here in Haiti.  God will reward you for the things you have done.

Why am I a police officer in the poorest country in the Western Hemisphere?  I'm not sure I know the full answer to that question.  As I sit here tonight, I find myself longing to be home with my family.  To be in my house, or riding my motorcycle.  To see my Dad, my sisters, my brother-in-law Kevin.  To sit on my porch and look across the road at the lake.  To feel cold air blowing on my face.  To see my best friend Rick, or the Reagan family or my other friends.  While all of those desires are legitimate, they are also very selfish.  God has plan.  Maybe that plan involves me going home sooner than later.  Maybe his plan involves me being here another 21 months.  Only he knows.  Where there is a way, he will provide that way.  It's not up to me to question his Will, though I find myself doing just that on a regular basis.

Give your kids a hug and a kiss tonight.  If not in person, then in your thoughts.  Until next time, take care, stay safe and God Bless.

    

October 29, 2011

I haven't posted in a while so I thought I would bring you up to date.  I often speak of my experiences here in Haiti.  What I have failed to spend much time on is my family.  I am blessed beyond anything that I deserve.  I have an incredible wife, four great kids, a great father and two great sisters.  You add to that by extended family, my wife's family and a guy couldn't ask for much more.  I find myself asking why God has blessed me so richly.

My wife is an incredible woman and a wonderful mother.  She has put up with way too much.  She has had to listen to me complain about the professional side of this mission far too many times.  I'm just kind of person who prefers not to earn my money the easy way.  I came here to work.  Unfortunately, I've came to the realization, finally, that my perception of "work" is different from what is really going on.  I guess in some ways it is "work" to be away from home, in the heat every day and in a 3rd or 4th world country.  I guess I just feel like we could accomplish a whole lot more here.  But, I'm not in charge so I'm going to drop the subject.

My oldest son Brandon is 22.  He is currently a Firefighter/EMT at Camp Leatherneck, Afghanistan.  He's only been there about a week but seems to be adjusting.  My youngest son Brett is 20 and is a Junior at College of the Ozarks, www.cofo.edu, in Branson, MO.  He is also the founder of Stay Positive, www.staypositive.me which is an uplifting and hugely successful blog.  He has some very exciting things going on in his professional life.  My daughter Kayla is 18.  She currently works with the developmentally disabled near Springfield, MO.  And last but not least is Tiffany.  Tiffany is Brandon's girlfriend and is a full time nursing student.  Again, I am definitely blessed.  The rest of my immediate family includes my father, Bill and my sisters Debbie and Myra along with my brother-in-law Kevin who is a master cabinet maker and the guy who pretty much keeps everything running at home, including my house, cars, motorcycles, etc.  Not sure what I would do without him.

So, things are moving along here in Haiti, though sometimes it seems as though it is at a snail's pace.  November 13 will mark 3 months of service.  I actually arrived in country on August 4 but did not receive my initial assignment until August 13.  The 3 month mark is important because it means that we can ask for a transfer to a different assignment outside of our region.  I personally have no intention of changing assignments again anytime soon but I know a lot of guys and gals who hope to do so.  Some want to go to the regions, Jacmel, Jeremie, Cap Haiten, etc.  I guess you could describe those areas as being "away from the flagpole."

For me, I'm confident that I stay here in Port-Au-Prince.  It's costing me a small fortune to live here but it's really convenient.  My accommodations are safe and secure, and most of all reliable.  I have consistent electricity, air conditioning, access to food and water, a hot shower, television and internet.  I also have a core group of friends, James, Russell, Debra, Neil, Shawn, Micah, Phil and so on.  While I would love tosave more money, there are also some creature comforts that I'm not willing to give up without a fight.  Some look at that as weakness, I look at it as smart.  I'm confident that I can do the most good right where I'm at.

As I've said before, if I only had the mission to rely on, I would be in trouble.  I thank God that he brought others into my life.  I often speak of Greg & Michelle Roberts from Chadasha Foundation.  Our friendship continues to grow.  These are two amazing people, along with Chelsey and the rest of their group.  While it often appears that there is very little happening here that actually benefits the Haitian people, I cannot say the same about Chadasha Foundation, www.chadasha.org and Rebuild Globally, www.rebuildglobally.org.  And there is the www.apparentproject.org.  Christmas is right around the corner.  If you're looking for a truly unique gift, that also benefits someone other than your typical corporation, then I encourage you to check out sandals made by Rebuild Globally or jewelry, purses or metal art marketed by Apparent Project.

God definitely works in mysterious ways.  He brought these people into my life when I was at one of my lowest points.  Thru Michelle, we were able to help Ken Ken, a 9 or 10 month old little boy who is the size of a newborn.  While he is very, very sick I know that we have made his life better, if only for a little while longer.  I've also become fast friends with Michee, a 20 year old guy who lives in the Internally Displaced Persons (IDP) camp where I used to work.  I love this kid.

I am currently assigned to an area near the ocean here in Haiti.  While overall, conditions are better than Port-Au-Prince proper, it is still a depressed area.  It seems as though you are either wealthy here in Haiti or you are living in abject poverty.  There does not seem to be a middle class.  75% of the population is unemployed yet they are always in a hurry to go somewhere.  It has definitely been an experience so far.  We'll see what God has in store for the future.

I'm still focused on getting a wheelchair to the guy I talked about before.  I just haven't had the opportunity to confront him while having someone with me to translate.  I know that God will provide a way though.

In about 25 days I will take a few days off.  We work 7 days per week here.  I'm looking forward to the break.  I'm not planning on going anywhere, just hanging out here and hopefully I'll finally make it to the Chadasha Foundation children's home.  When I finish that short block of leave, I will return to work for 21 days and then go home for Christmas.  I can hardly wait.

Well, that's about it for now.  I hope that this posting finds each of you healthy and happy.  Until next time, take care, stay safe and God Bless.

October 22, 2011

I haven't posted in a while so I thought I would bring you up to date.  Since changing assignments, my opportunities to "make a difference" have been somewhat reduced.  But, I know that God will present me with opportunities when he sees fit to do so.

I have to admit that I enjoy working day shift only.  The night shifts were brutal.  I'm not as young as I used to be.

Right now, I am focused on a man I have seen 3-4 times over the past couple of weeks.  I currently work in an area about 45-60 minutes away from Port-Au-Prince.  I see this man scooting along side the road, using only his hands and arms.  I'm assuming that he is paralyzed from the waist down.  I stopped to talk to him yesterday but I didn't have an interpreter with me.  I wanted to find out if he would be interested in a wheel chair.  I simply couldn't overcome the language barrier.

I saw him again this morning, but I wasn't driving and we were already past him when I spotted him.  I am intent on getting him a wheelchair, if he wants one.  With the generosity of Greg and Michelle Roberts from Chadasha Foundation, http://www.chadasha.org/ I will be able to give him a wheelchair.  I hope that he wants it and I hope that it will make his life somewhat easier.

It is heartbreaking and depressing to see some of the people here in Haiti.  But, I have resigned myself to the fact that I can't help everyone.  I also cannot pass up the opportunity to help some of them.  I continue to see Michee on a regular basis.  I have him come to where I live once per week.  I feed him a good meal and give him some money for his mother so she can buy groceries.  I also continue to help Rebuild Globally,  http://www.rebuildglobally.org/.  I wish I could do more.  It's very frustrating.

I hope to see Ken Ken again this week.  You can see additional photos of Ken Ken on my Facebook page.  I doubt that he will live much longer.  It absolutely breaks my heart.  I know though that I did everything I could for him.   I just thank God that Michelle and Greg from Chadasha answered my call.  Perhaps God has another plan for Ken Ken.

I continue to struggle with this mission.  I'm not placing blame on anyone.  It just seems that there is so much more that can be done.  But, I do my job every day and I try to go the extra mile and do what I feel God wants me to do.  I no longer focus on the mission.  My focus is on helping when and where I can.

In the past couple of days I've performed first aid on a couple of people.  The most recent was the victim of a motorcycle accident.  Several of the Haitians think I'm some sort of doctor.  Today, my team leader came up to me and handed me a prescription from a doctor for one of the jail inmates where I worked.  He asked me if I could fill the prescription.  I really got a big chuckle out of that.  So far, I've used a lot of my first aid supplies.  As soon as I get home I have to bring back my Combat Life Saver (CLS) bags that I had in Iraq.  They are packed with first aid supplies.

Well, that's about it for now.  I am including some photos of a few places outside of Port-Au-Prince.  There really are parts of Haiti that are beautiful.  I hope that this posting finds each of you healthy and happy.  Until next time, take care, stay safe and God Bless.

A Time for Faith

As much as I hate to, there are some things that I need to be honest about.  While I can't tell you everything that is on my mind, I can tell you some things that I believe are important.

For me, this mission started out on the wrong foot.  There was some going back and forth about when I would leave for the pre-deployment training in Virginia.  And, I admit that I was frustrated.  But, this is common with international missions and I should have realized that, being an international mission veteran (Iraq -2006/2007).

A few days before leaving for Virginia, I purchased a brand new laptop computer.  A few days later I managed to shatter the screen.  So, I went and purchased another laptop computer.  A few days after arriving in Haiti, that brand new computer decided to go down on me.  I let a lot of little things bother me, things that are not that important in the grand scheme of things.

As I begin my third month here in Haiti I find myself searching for the reason or reasons I am here.  I can tell you that I"m not here for the reasons that I initially thought.  I'm not here just for the money.  Though I would be less than truthful if I didn't admit that the money played a role in my decision to come here.  I'll just leave it at that.

Many aspects of this mission are simply beyond my control.  I have also come to realize that I need to re-focus my energy into something positive.  I have been harboring some pretty negative feelings.  One of my good friends in Iraq used to remind me that I needed to accept things for what they are, that I can't fix everything and there are some things that I cannot change.  How profound that statement has become in my current situation.

I am a career law enforcement officer.  While I am by no means perfect I have always worked hard, many times at the expense of my family.  Now, I find myself once again in a foreign country.  I never thought I would ever witness worse conditions than those I observed in Sadr City, Iraq which is a suburb of Baghdad.  In 2006/2007 this was one of the most dangerous places on earth, probably second to Fallujah.  The conditions there were deplorable.  However, the conditions here in Haiti are even worse.  I cannot even begin to describe the squalor these people live in.

Haiti was not in very good shape prior to the earthquake.  Now, it is even worse.  Hundreds of thousands were killed and many more were left homeless.  Those people now live in tents all through Port-Au-Prince and even in some of the outlying areas.  Very few Americans could tolerate these living conditions if they were placed in that situation.

Haiti is a very complicated country.  It is not a post-war country.  There has not been a civil war.  Since 1957, Haiti has had at least seventeen Presidents.  Compare this to the fact that the United States has only had forty-four Presidents since it's inception.  As far as I can determine, each of the Haitian Presidents has been corrupt.  The people have been "raped" and pillaged by their own government for the last fifty-four years.  The Presidents have become millionaires or billionaires while the people have become poorer and poorer.

While there are many things about this mission that I don't like, it's no longer about that.  And frankly, I have to somewhat careful about what I say.  I have finally came to the realization that this mission is not about the United Nations, the Haitian National Police or the other 48 or 49 countries that make up the United Nations. For me, this mission is about what I can do.

I know that my wife is growing tired of my complaining.  I complain out of frustration.  And often times, I am judgmental about it.  Thank God though that she listens.  And, she occasionally brings me back to reality with some "tough love."  She is an amazing woman.  I thank God that I have her.

From this point on I know that I will have good days and bad days.  I hope that the good outnumber the bad.  I am going to be less concerned about the mission and more concerned about what I can do as an individual. I will continue to do my job, the job I was hired for.  After all, my salary is paid by the American taxpayer.

Most importantly, I want to do what God wants me to do.  In past blogs I have mentioned several Non-Governmental Organizations (NGOs).  Those being Chadasha Foundation, http://www.chadasha.org/ and Michelle and Greg Roberts.  These two people, and their staff, are doing incredible work, God's work.  I have grown to trust them and we have become friends.  And, I've mentioned Rebuild Globally, http://www.rebuildglobally.org/ which is another great NGO.  Julie Columbino and Sandra Fernandez, along with the rest of their staff, are incredible people.  They too are doing great work.

As a matter of fact, Sandra contacted me tonight.  She had with her two street kids.  One of the kids, 13 years old, needed medical attention.  I made a few phone calls and we got him the attention he needed.  These two boys literally live on the streets of Port-Au-Prince.  Their fathers were killed in the earthquake.  The mother of one has abandoned him and the mother of the other is unable to care for him because she herself is sick.  Hopefully, this kid can get the medical attention he needs now.  This action probably at a minimum saved his foot and more likely his life.  You can follow Sandra's one year journey here it Haiti at http://www.rebuildglobally.org/blog.html.

Well, rather than type a five page blog, let me get to the point.  As I said, I will continue to do the job I am being paid to do.  But more importantly, in my off time (which isn't much considering the fact that we work 7 days per week), I have decided, or God has decided for me, that I am going to focus my off-duty time on NGOs.  I want to know what NGOs are here in country.  I want to know what they do and how they can help me help someone else.  I will focus primarily on American NGOs, primarily because of the language barrier involved with other countries.  I hope to compile a detailed listing of the NGOs, what they can and can't do and then provide that listing to the NGOs themselves, so they can contact each other but also to my fellow UN police officers.  That way, they will no what resources are available to them and how to contact those resources.  I've learned, in the short time that I've been here, that most of the NGOs don't know each other.  If we work hard enough, we can create a conglomeration and help each other out.

While this may not sound like a big deal to you, it is a huge deal to me. I have been searching, nearly giving up, on why I am here.  God has presented opportunities time and time again.  I am just now realizing what I need to do.  I have to make a contribution to the people of Haiti as long as I am here.  I know that this is what God wants me to do.  Please pray for me and for the NGOs here in Haiti.  Most importantly, please continue to pray for Chadasha, Rebuild Globally and for the Haitian people.  Until next time, take care, stay safe and God Bless.

Not Much to Report

Well, I don't have much to report in this blog.  Since changing over to a new assignment on 9/26 I seem to have very little interaction with the locals.  But, I'm confident that God will present me with a situation where I can have a positive impact on someone.

For security reasons, I can't provide very many details about my current assignment.  I can tell you that I now work about 45-60 minutes away.  I miss the kids at my previous assignment, as well as my teammates there, but it was time for a change of scenery.  The night shifts were killing me.  This job is not fraught with danger. The danger is boredom.  While this is more than acceptable to a lot of people, I look at it differently.  I came here to work but it doesn't look like that is going to happen.  Even those who claim to "work", most are not.   But, it is what it is.

If not for some of the humanitarian work I've been able to do here, my time here has been pretty much a waste.  But again, it is what it is.  There are some things I simply cannot change.  I do my "job" and then I try and find a way to make even the slightest difference in the lives of some of the people here.  That alone could be a full time job.  When I end this mission, I will be free to tell you much, much more.

Anyway, until next time, take care, stay safe and God Bless.

A Day with Michelle

Today was a good day.  Those seem few and far between here when, on a daily basis, you see firsthand the suffering taking place in this country.

Today I had the opportunity to spend a couple hours with Michelle Roberts and her gang.  Michelle is part of a great organization, Chadasha Foundation, http://www.chadasha.org/.  I think I've mentioned them before on my blog, I know I have on my Facebook page.   Well, the blog is back.  I had pretty much decided to end this blog but then I got an injection of Faith today and decided to continue Haiti Five-0.  If for no other reason, I can use this platform to call attention to these organizations who are truly doing the right thing here in Haiti.  I'm referring specifically to Chadasha Foundation, Rebuild Globally http://www.rebuildglobally.org/ and The Apparent Project http://www.apparentproject.org/.  I'm sure there are more organizations operating here in Haiti but these are the three I am familiar with at this point.  I have met these people, I know what they are doing and I know their intentions.

Far too often, a country like Haiti is invaded by Non-Governmental Organizations (NGOs).  Many do nothing when it comes right down to it.  That is not the case with the three I just mentioned.

I continue to be amazed by Michelle Roberts.  This lady possesses Faith that is almost indescribable.  If you could meet her you would know what I mean.  I can say the same for Julie Columbino from Rebuild Globally.     These are two amazing women.  I also have to give a shout-out to Sandra Fernandez of Rebuild Globally.  She is another person here who is doing the right thing.

Today was my last day off.  So, I went with Michelle and her gang to my old Camp, where I worked until September 26.  We went to check on Baby Ken Ken, a child in desperate need who I had came across towards then end of assignment there.  First off, there was a guy there with a bucket full of snakes.  Why you ask?  I have no idea.  I had never seen him before.  Being the adrenalin junkie that I am, I of course had to hold one of the snakes.  I'm guessing that it was a Boa Constrictor of some sort.  We snapped several photos and then moved on.

Back in September, with the help of several people we were able to rescue Ken Ken.  I am firmly convinced that without our intervention, Ken Ken would already be dead.

I was happy to see some of the friends I had made there, adults and children alike.    They also seemed truly happy to see me again.  What shocked me most of all was Ken Ken.  He looked so much better, though still grossly underweight.  But he looked "alive."  I give the credit for this, first to God but then to Michelle and Chadasha.  They brought this child back from the brink of death.

Ken Ken was alert, unlike the first time I saw him when he was so lethargic.  When we held him he was wide-eyed, he touched our faces, he felt heavier that last time.  For the first time since I found him, I felt as though he had a chance.  Because of his medical condition this may not be the case but from the looks of him today, God willing, he might have a chance.   There are great things in the future for this camp.  Michelle intends to visit the camp with one of her mobile medical teams.   I hope I can be there when this happens.

After we finished up at the camp we went to The Apparent Project.  This is another great organization that is truly helping the people of Haiti.  Many Haitians are employed through The Apparent Project.  They make jewelry, metal art, purses, handbags and all kinds of stuff.  Of course I bought some things for my wife and daughters.  When I buy these types of things here in Haiti I feel good about it.  I see first hand the sweat and effort it takes to make these things.  There is no comparison to buying things in a regular store.

After we finished up at The Apparent Project, Michelle and her gang dropped me off.  It was a great couple of hours.  I can't wait to visit the Chadasha Foundation children's home.  I hope to do that sometime next week.

Please, visit the websites I listed in this blog.  Christmas is right around the corner.  Why not buy some gifts that are truly special.  If you have any questions, please let me know.  Until next time, take care, stay safe and God Bless.

Baby Ken Ken

Some of the products produced by The Apparent Project.  With each item you get a card showing which artisan actually made the item.  

The end of Haiti Five-O

I've decided to end my second attempt at a blog regarding my experiences abroad. No one has suggested that I do so.  No one has ordered me to do so.  This is simply a decision I have made on my own.

In many ways, I considered to be therapeutic.  And, perhaps there are some people who found it interesting.  However, most people probably did not.

It's easy to use this type of platform to complain about something, though I often used it hoping that it would be uplifting to someone out there.  If I have a situation that I feel convicted to share, then I will do so on Facebook.  For those of you who read my blog(s), thanks.  This blog will be deleted on 10/2 and will no longer be available for viewing.

Mark Williams

Just How Spoiled Are We?

Very seldom do I ever blog twice in the same day.  But today, I had the opportunity to spend a few hours with a 20 year old Haitian boy that I met shortly after I arrived in country and received my first assignment.  For privacy reasons, I won't name him.  I refer to him as a "boy" because he's the same age as my youngest son.

This kid is one of the most polite kids I have ever met.  Before he arrived he called me and asked if he had to wear sandals.  I asked why?  He said, "I don't have any sandals, I only have one pair of shoes."  Okay, right then I knew that I was going to buy him a pair of sandals.  They sell some here made by an organization I mentioned earlier today on my Facebook, "Rebuild Globally."

This kid is very intelligent, having taught himself how to speak English. It's by no means perfect, but he does a pretty darn good job.  I invited him to the place where I live so he could go swimming and enjoy a good meal.

When he arrived I gave him the sandals.  He said "I say thank you, but that is not enough."  I assured him that it was.  After he finished swimming we just sat around and talked.  It was then that I learned that he only eats two times per week.  That's right, twice per week!  Even for Haiti, I was shocked though I shouldn't be.  His mother works 7 days per week but only makes enough money to feed them twice per week.  Once again, my heart was broken.

I immediately began thinking about how many times at home I would say something like "I'm starving."  While I didn't mean it literally, it's embarrassing that I said it at all.  And worst case scenario, if I was hungry and there wasn't nothing in the house that I wanted, I would simply jump in the car and go to a drive-thru and get whatever I wanted.  How spoiled are we?

After he got out of the pool and went to change clothes, I immediately ran back to my room.  I found a couple of plastic bags and filled them with what groceries I had.  I also gave him some money to give to his mother so maybe she can buy a few extra groceries.  I'm going to try to have him back here at least 2-3 times per month so I feed him a good meal.

Folks, we in America live in a world where we take so much for granted.  Believe me, I'm guilty.  Maybe tonight, before you go to bed, thank God for what you have.  My wife said something to me not long ago that I find now, more than ever, to be profound.  She told me:  "you know, we're not as well off as many, but we're much better off that many."  How true that is.  Until next time, take care, stay safe and God Bless.

Another Blessing

Today the first day of an 8 day vacation.  Today and tomorrow I will just hang out here before going to the Dominican Republic for a few days of R&R.  I had convinced myself that I would be bored out of my mind.  I was already missing the kids from my camp.

Well, again God sent a blessing my way.  I decided to go hang out at the pool for an hour or so.  As I was walking out there I noticed that there were a bunch of Haitian kids swimming in the pool.  You probably know by now that I have a soft spot in heart for these kids.  Within minutes I was playing with them in the pool.  I would help some of them swim, played catch with some and played volleyball with some.  They were very polite and were having a great time.

I found that they were street kids.  An organization called Rebuild Globally helps support these kids.  For more information check out their website at www.REBUILDGlobally.org or their Facebook page at https://www.facebook.com/REBUILDglobally.  These kids make sandals here in Haiti.  The money raised is used for them to pay for their education.  Nearly all "quality" education here in Haiti is through private schools and is expensive, especially for Haitians.  So please, check out their website.

Once again, you just never know when you are going to blessed by God.  Until next time, take care, stay safe and God Bless.

On to the Next Adventure

Well, I just finished my last shift at my current assignment.  It was bittersweet.  I will miss the people there and will miss my teammates.  But, it's time for another adventure somewhere else in Haiti.  Not to mention, my new adventure only involves day shift.  That's a plus for my body.

Today was not great but at the same time it was not bad.  I had a chance to meet with Greg and Michelle Roberts, along with Wilna from Chadasha.  More importantly, I got to hold this little boy for about 30 minutes while they talked with his mother.  After about 5-10 minutes he fell asleep with his hands clasped together.  He's a sweet little boy though I doubt he is long for this world.  Unless God has other plans, I doubt this little boy will be alive in a couple of weeks.

Greg and Michelle have assured me that they are in for the long haul.  They will help care for this little boy until the very end.  They will also ensure that the parents receive the very best medical care available here along with the medication needed.  What a great couple and Chadasha is a great organization.  I simply can't say enough about these three people.  I feel like I have known them forever.  Again, if your church supports international missions, please consider passing along information about Chadasha.  I have included a link to their website at the end of this posting.

Now, I will start my new assignment tomorrow.  Hopefully, when I'm working the early shift I can get access to a vehicle in the afternoon so I can go back to where I was working and see some people there.  I will never forget what I experienced during that assignment. Most of which was documented in my previous blog.

After tomorrow, I will be on vacation for 8 days.  The first couple days I'll just hang out here and relax.  After that, I'll head to the Dominican Republic and hang out on the beach for 3 or 4 days.  Nothing to complain about there other than wishing my family was with me.

Until next time, take care, stay safe and God Bless.

http://www.chadasha.org/

From Bad to Worse

Well, this day has gone from bad to worse.  I had to delete my previous blog.  I managed to get myself "on the radar" which is something I have always striven to avoid.  For the most part, I have always been successful. Oh well, you live and you learn.  It is wise not to make the same mistake twice, which is now my goal.

That situation though pales in comparison to the predicament I now find myself in.  For those of you who followed my previous blog, you are aware of my struggles to help a very young and very sick child.  Until a couple of hours ago I thought that I had done just that, with help from a lot of other people.  And I suppose that we have helped this child to some degree.  A couple of hours ago I received some devastating news.

This child is in much worse shape than initially thought.  Since I posted some photos of this child in my previous blog I'm not going to go too much into detail about his present medical condition.  What I, or we, are now faced with is telling this child's parents exactly how bad the situation is.  That alone would be devastating for any parent.  But this particular information will also have a profound impact on the parents themselves and their medical future.  Okay, you probably have figured out where I'm going with this.

Tomorrow will be my last official day in my current position.  What a way to end it.  But, I have no choice but to meet this head-on. There are many complexities now involved in this that I have work out in my head, through careful thought and lots of prayer.  I have to remain compassionate while at the same time not getting myself into another jam.  I will continue to ask that you pray for this family and for all of the people here in Haiti. Until next time, take care, stay safe, and God Bless.

Dawn of the New Blog

Well, here we go again.  I will continue to blog about my experiences here in Haiti.  However, there will be some major changes to my format.  First of all, there will be no names, no photos and no references to any government agencies, U.S. or abroad,  Sounds kind of boring huh?  Well, it's the best I can do.

Some people look at it as censorship, a violation of my First Amendment rights. I don't necessarily look at it that way.  I believe thatI have no choice but to look at it from the viewpoint of those above me.  I have no choice but to abide by the rules, whether I agree with all of them or not.  That's simply the right thing to do.  I have a family and I have to provide for my family.  I also have an obligation to my country, my employer and to my co-workers and superiors.  So, we'll see how this works out.  Stay tuned for a posting later this evening.